Six Weeks
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Jasper, Vinny, Chris, Meg, and classmate Nick are camp counselors at a local summer camp. As they try to survive the summer, the kids and each other, they will face the greatest challenge of all-being yourself in a world that wants you to change. Rated M for language, sexual, alcohol and pop culture references, some romantic drama, and cartoon physics. Loosely based on true events.


**Episode One: Whatever is Necessary; The Importance of First Impressions**

Standing in line at the Office of Camping and Recreational Facilities in the northern part of Quahog business district, Jasper felt nothing but excitement at the prospect of being a camp counselor, for the dog had always wanted to be a teacher and since Brian bailed at the last opportunity, in favor of planning his upcoming wedding, it left the prefect opening.

"You'd be prefect for it Jasper" Brian said when he offered the position, "You always said you wanted to work with kids. The background checks are just a formality, nothing to worry about. If they do say anything, tell them to call me I'll get it straightened out."

Despite Brian's words Jasper was a little uncomfortable. He had heard stories of openly gay counselors and youth organization leaders facing scrutiny, discrimination and prejudice and the last thing he wanted was to be a factor in that statistic. Nevertheless, Jasper kept his personal affairs and private life in the home, since his move to Rhode Island the only ones who knew about him being gay were the Griffins, their neighbors Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland, and finally, and perhaps most importantly, Sam, his current boyfriend.

As Jasper approached the secretary behind a wall of Plexiglas he thought about the ramifications if he were discovered. These thoughts quickly began to replace those of teaching kids how to work leather, swim and what wild berries were good to eat. Jasper's breathing, as a result, became slow and erratic, he felt like he was going to pass out.

"Name" the secretary exclaimed in a raspy smoker voice, almost as if it came out of a machine, causing Jasper to jolt out of his mind.

"I'm sorry can you repeat that?" Jasper said, still recovering, "I'm a little nervous, I got a lot on my mind right now."

The secretary, who looked like an Egyptian mummy come to life, her face covered in wrinkles, the bags underneath her eyes having bags, which had bags, which had bags, breathed heavily in annoyance. Her nails were longer than they needed to be, making typing anything on a computer an almost impossible task. With hair as white as snow that went in any direction it wanted and a neck covered with fifty pounds of necklaces and beads it made one wonder if she owned a mirror, or even cared about her appearance at all.

"I asked for you name sweetheart" the secretary continued.

"Jasper" the dog replied.

"Is Jasper your full name?" the secretary pressed

Jasper nodded, for the breeders in Texas weren't too keen on last names, and even if they were they weren't exactly names that one wanted to keep, names like Shithead, Motherfucker, Fuckface, and Dickweed were the most common, mostly because the breeders were drunk on everything imaginable and their creativity was fairly limited and did not move beyond curse words and insults that only the mind of an 8th grader would produce with confidence.

The secretary continued with more questions.

"Age?"

Jasper, after a quick dog to human year conversion, came up with an answer.

"47 and still young."

The secretary raised her eyebrows, for 47 was old for the average camp counselor.

"Are you sure that you're up for this?" the secretary asked, concern showing in her voice, "I mean this isn't exactly something that you can just do. You'll be out in the woods, probably have to go on a few hikes. I mean you're 47 years old."

Jasper rolled his eyes, annoyed that he was mistaken for a human, which only happened with the extremely elderly or the extremely stupid. Jasper folded his arms in protest, to say that he was insulted was an insult to insults, and remained grounded, refusing to move until he got a proper apology.

"Hey buddy" a man said from further back in the line, "Can you hurry it up? Some of us have places to be!"

Jasper turned around sharply, facing the man.

"Shut your trap asshole!" Jasper exclaimed, "I did not come here to be insulted by the likes of Skeletor here, and I will not be hurried just because you're impatient. If you have somewhere to be you should've taken care of that before you waited in the DMV line."

The man huffed, "This isn't the DMV sir" he said all too literally, "This is the Office of Camping and Recrea-"

Jasper cut him off before he finish his snarky remark.

"I know where I am you idiot" Jasper continued, "It's an expression. But sarcasm impaired people like yourself wouldn't understand that would you? Now shut up, quit your bitching and wait your fucking turn."

Jasper turned towards back towards the secretary.

"Sorry about that" Jasper apologized, "I get a little emotional when I'm nervous. Now where were we?"

The secretary stopped doing her background check, which was the reason for all of these trivial and rather pointless questions and looked Jasper straight in the face.

"You did realize that you're going to be around children right?" she began sternly.

Jasper nodded, "Oh yes" he replied, "I understand that completely. In fact, there's something that I mean to talk to you about-"

Jasper was cut off before he could finish, the secretary already having an opinion of him based on this one isolated incident.

"Mr. Jasper" the secretary continued, "You can't say those words in front of children. It's inappropriate. Do you understand?"

Jasper nodded, he was starting to become fearful, for if judgment was passed simply on a few bad word choices the issue of his sexual orientation didn't stand a chance.

"Now I'm willing to let this whole thing go if you can do one thing."

Jasper raised his ears curiously, for at this point, as long as he kept his dignity and his secret afterwards, he would agree.

"What exactly are we talking about?" Jasper asked.

Ten minutes later Jasper walked out of the back room, his face frozen in horror, his dignity all but gone. The secretary came out a few minutes later, wrapped in nothing but an old blanket, smoking a cigarette and smiling the smile of satisfaction that only comes after the euphoria of carnal experiences. Jasper was secretly horrified, not because he had to have sex with the secretary, but because of what he had to endure to get a simple piece of paper that said he was eligible to work.

"Cave" Jasper said to himself, a little over exaggerated due to shock, "That's what it was. A cave. A bottomless, soundless, damp cave with no way out."

Jasper slowly made his made to the car, saying nothing and simply allowing the experience to sink in and fester within. He felt dirty, like he needed a shower or to be put under for a few hours if only to get rid of the disgusting, worm crawling sensation that was currently plaguing him. It didn't matter. Putting on his seat-belt and backing out of the lot, Jasper headed down the highway to the woods, twenty miles outside of town with no cell phone reception and in the confines of southern Massachusetts.

The entrance to Camp Enfer was covered in underbrush, a simple post and lintel system made entirely out of wood and nails. It was termite infested and looked like it was about to fall over, it didn't help that the sign smelled wet, making for a horrible first impression and the name Enfer, French for Hell, somewhat fitting. Jasper stared at this scene and the woods around him and shrugged, the dog trying not to judge things too quickly, a difficult thing to do given the circumstances. Readjusting his pack, full of everything that he would need, Jasper pushed forward into the campground, leaving his car in a nearby parking lot.

It wasn't long before Jasper came upon a large parade field, beyond this field was a large and beautiful lake. The water was crystal clear, almost transparent in nature. To the immediate right overlooking the lake was a large hill, on top of this hill was the master cabin that belonged to the camp director.

"Okay" Jasper said, more than impressed, "This could work. This could really, really work."

As Jasper walked the sun decided to poke itself out from behind the cloud it was behind, casting its warmth across the field and the surrounding area. Jasper stopped and stretched out his arms, taking in the sun as if he received energy through photosynthesis. After a few seconds of doing nothing but taking in the scene, Jasper made his way towards the lake.

Approaching the lake, Jasper could see a small group of cabins, from his position they were one room constructions, although he couldn't really be sure, given the distance.

"Jasper!" a voice said from behind, causing him to turn around to face Chris, the speaker, accompanied by Meg, Vinny, and Nick, one of Chris' classmates.

"Chris, Meg, Vinny!" Jasper returned in greeting as he sat down his pack, resting for a few minutes, "Why didn't you tell me you guys were coming? We've could've made arrangements."

Chris laughed, for Jasper, like Brian, was always looking for ways to bond with them.

"We wanted to surprise you" Chris explained, "Besides we'd take up too much room. Four people and four packs, not to mention a few footlockers."

Jasper turned to Nick and casually smiled, extending his paw enthusiastically.

"I don't believe we've met" Jasper began, "My name's Jasper, what's yours?"

Nick returned the gesture, if uncomfortably, for Chris had warned him of Jasper's orientation, and as a result he wasn't entirely sure if Jasper was hitting on him or being polite. He went with the latter.

"Nick" he answered, "I'm in Chris' history class. Helped him on a few tests and now he owes me. Dragged me out here for the summer, said he repay the favor better if we worked together."

Jasper glared at Chris, who shrugged meekly.

"I'm joking" Nick continued, "But still, he does owe me."

Jasper laughed and shook his head, for he was easily amused, a trait that not a lot people seem to possess.

"I'm sure he'll pay his debts Nick" Jasper replied, "In fact, I'll make sure of it. Honest work, just reward, that's the way to please the Lord."

Silence.

"Les Miserables?" Jasper continued, "Inspector Javert?"

Nothing.

"Okay then" Jasper concluded, slightly embarrassed, "Note to self, none of you are theater geeks."

This caused everyone to laugh. Jasper chuckled to himself, he couldn't believe that he had successfully used humor, even if it was less than average, to his advantage. He had never been one for comedy, he left that to Brian, but Jasper always thought himself blessed with the gift of timing, which if used properly, is comedy gold. Whether or not Jasper was funny because of his own merit, remained to be seen.

Climbing the hill heading towards the master cabin, Jasper, Chris, Meg, Vinny and Nick made general small talk. In the five minutes of walking time Jasper learned that Vinny had found a new owner in Jesse DuBois, local editor for the Quahog newspaper. Chris, Meg, and Nick were coming up on their second year of high school, Chris only making it because of extensive tutoring from Nick and help sessions from Ernie the Giant Chicken, the English and Fine Arts teacher. When Jasper asked about Peter and Lois, Chris and Meg fell silent, it was the uncomfortable kind of silence, the kind that was best killed in private circumstances.

"Here we are" Chris replied, shaking off the uneasiness, "Lakehouse."

Jasper looked around, expecting to see more staff, especially the camp director. He found no one.

"Where's the director?" Jasper asked curiously as he sniffed the air, smelling the faint smell of burning wood, "Isn't he supposed to meet us?"

Chris and Meg huffed in disbelief. Vinny rolled his eyes, the mere suggestion was apparently ridiculous. Nick shook his head sadly and looked at the master cabin with disdain. With its two floors with bay windows that faced the lake and a balcony it looked more like a vacation spot than a camp master's cabin. Its chimney on the right side was well maintained, smoke could be seen coming from it, despite the fact that no one appeared to be home. From the inside, for the front door was, for the most part, glass, Jasper could see a fully furnished living room and the beginnings of a dining room. Expensive rugs, most of them dark red or blue, adorned the floors and walls. River stone counter-tops, on top of which were various wines, barely used silverware, and a decorative statute in the form of an eagle, were found in the hallway next to the dining room.

"This is a cabin?" Jasper declared, "It's a freaking palace!"

Nick, Chris and Meg nodded in agreement. Jasper turned around, staring at the one room cabins across the lake.

"And I'm assuming those are for us?"

They nodded. Vinny moved towards Jasper and placed his arm around him brotherly like, leaning in close, he began to speak, his voice hushed and whispered.

"Between you and me" Vinny began, "I say we grovel to ones in charge. I mean we're dogs for Pete's sake! And no respectable dog would dare live in a place like that."

"True" Jasper said in agreement, "But no respectable would leave his humans either. What's more important Vinny? Comfort or friends? Besides you're here to work, just like the rest of us."

Vinny nodded, "Yeah" he continued, "But who says we have to suffer more than necessary? If we're going to work, let's at least relax when we're able to!"

Just as Jasper was about to retort, the cabin door opened, revealing a scantily clad Trisha Takanawa, Asian reporter for Channel 5 News, along with a half-dressed Tom Tucker. Trisha, who was wearing something that would barely pass for a bathing suit in most circles, was completely motionless as if she were made of stone. Tom, in his underwear and a curiously urine stained white T-shirt, laughed nervously and attempted to explain the situation to the best of his ability without stumbling over himself.

"You see we thought the camp wasn't going to be opening till Friday" Tom began, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, "So, we figured. Why the hell not?"

Jasper was appalled, virtually disgusted with Tom's behavior, for he was certain that the director notified everyone about the camp's existence and the staff week just before opening night. Vinny couldn't stop staring at Trisha, his tongue comically hanging out of his mouth, almost as if it were about to detach. His eyes, in contrast, simply decided to explode.

"Do you mind?" Jasper said shielding his eyes and motioning for Chris, Meg and Nick to do the same, "There are children present!"

"God you're hot" Vinny declared stupidly in Trisha's direction.

Tom reached back into the house grabbing a coat for Trisha to cover herself up with, causing Jasper and the teenagers to uncover their eyes.

"Sorry about that" Tom apologized, "I didn't expect you to come until-"

Jasper shook his head, cutting Tom off at the same time.

"Wait a minute?" Jasper asked, "You were expecting us?"

Tom nodded and gave a gentle smile, "I'm the camp director" he said, "Sorry if you were expecting something more, but I'm all they could spare."

Jasper slapped himself in the face, it was too difficult to believe that anyone would leave Tom Tucker in charge of anything for long periods of time, much less hundreds of kids in one confined place.

"You're telling me that you're the camp director?" Jasper began, "And you didn't even know that we were coming?"

Tom nodded, "Like I was saying, I wasn't expecting you until later" he defended, "Besides it's not like we were hurting anything. Just a relieving a little stress is all."

Jasper huffed, "Banging your coworker is more than relieving stress don't you think?" he continued, "How do you even sleep at night?"

Nick, Chris and Meg, set down their packs next to the door and patiently waited to be told what to do. Vinny, meanwhile, began panting and barking insanely, so captivated was he with Trisha. If it hadn't been so much of a show, it would've been sad.

"Are you Vietnamese?" Vinny asked as he moved towards the door, "I hear they like dogs over there. What do you say? You, me, the bedroom, a few candles, some Marvin Gaye…you can even keep the coat. I like a little foreplay, you know."

Trisha laughed, but it was the sarcastic laugh and not the compliance laugh. Vinny didn't catch this detail, all social skills abandoning him for the moment in favor of blind stupidity in the face of beauty, and continued with his behavior.

"First off" Trisha began coldly, "I'm Korean. Second, I would never dream of having sex with someone like you."

Vinny shrugged this off, refusing to be denied so easily.

"Come on" Vinny replied, trying to put on a bit of charm, "How can you say that when you barely know me?"

Trisha nodded, "And how can you say what you're saying when you barely know me?" she declared, throwing his own words back, "You don't know the slightest idea what I like, who I am or who I want to be with."

Vinny laughed playfully, still partially under the illusion that he would eventually end up with her.

"You got me there sweetheart" Vinny said giving a wink to Jasper, who rolled his eyes annoyingly, "but if it's one thing I do, it's a beautiful woman when I see one."

Trisha huffed and turned around, walking inside, Vinny admiring her hips and ass with every step she took.

Tom cleared his throat, catching Vinny's attention and bringing him back to reality. Chris, Meg and the others were staring at him, their faces blank and filled with discontent, in their heads wondering how they were going to survive six whole weeks with a guy like him.

"What?" Vinny said confused looking around, "Something I said?"

Tom groaned and walked inside, motioning for them to follow. Chris, Meg, and Nick did so without saying a word. Jasper patted Vinny's back reassuringly and made his way inside the house, leaving Vinny to take the rear, the dog already thinking of ways to get Trisha in bed.

* * *

><p><strong> Author's Note<strong>

Things that were true in this chapter:

1. Camp Enfer is based off a real place, just not in Massachusetts and it's not called Camp Enfer

2. The situation with openly gay camp counselors/ youth organizational leaders is a real issue and a controversial one.

The characters depicted in this story come from my Family Guy AU( mostly in the case of personality), they are not depictions, exaggerated or otherwise, of real persons. The truest thing about this story (that involves the 8 year period of camping experiences) is mostly done through the experiences the characters have.


End file.
